Sunday, February 13, 2005

Live Blogging: It's Already Over

11pm. Grammys this year, so far doing good. I always approach them with some dread because I: a) assume they're going to suck and b) always watch them. But then there are always good moments. So far this year we've had Kanye West in his insane vanity fantasia complete with him ascending to the pulpit on a pair of great white Angels In America wings; "Across The Universe," downloadable for a donation to tsunami relief, played by Velvet Revolver (Slash on electric 12-string) and gang sung We Are The World star-style with Stevie Wonder playing a sick harmonica solo; and Usher STUNNING with his maniacally relaxed Fred Astaire laser dancing, mind activated control of the mic stand and dripping sexual charisma that could turn a straight man queerer than a steer with eight assholes.

Grammy '05 Fun Fact! Did you know Laura Branigan died this year?

Bonnie Raitt kicks ass doing Ray Charles tribute and plays a gorgeous slide solo to the backing of a simple B-3 played by a rather (unintentionally?) surreal Ray Charles look-alike and play-alike.

Joss Stone tears another pointless hole in the rag that is "Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart." Why were they doing a Janis Joplin tribute? Did she die this year?

Here's a fun memory from last year's Grammys that apparently really got somebody's goat!

Did I mention I missed half the show? Would like to have seen Jamie Foxx playing "Georgia On My Mind." Also missed Gwen Stefani doing her ska kabuki workout tape.

But I did see Loretta Lynn win best country album despite zero play on "country" radio, a point Jack White reminded everyone of in his acceptance. That country legends are ignored in mass media by everyone but blue-state NPRites is richly illustrative of our continental drift over the last 30 years. But on with the shoe: Loretta showed up my knee-jerk grumpiness and extended her hand across the aisle to graciously tell Faith Hill that she was in love with Faith's husband Tim McGraw who just before Loretta's win belted out his funeral home anthem "Live Like You Were Dying," a grimly smarmy ballad that, when sung beneath the tortured brim of his CMA Standard Issue Black Cowboy Hat (the enormo version), turned Tim into the Grim Reaper that Chooses To Shop At Sam's Club. Loretta also told Jack to speak closer to the microphone and he said, "Yes ma'am" with real obedience. I think these two should marry. And she should take him to Fist City.

Queen Latifah '05 closes out the show proclaiming "ONE LOVE (that's all you get)!"


At 6:04 AM, Blogger DJ said...

Yeah, fine. -But what were they wearing?

At 3:43 PM, Blogger stark pimp said...

Usher - tite black suit + a fedora a la Michael Jackson in his first televised performance of Billie Jean on "Motown 25."

Sheryl Crow - not much, not enough really, she is ugly ripped, i blame Lance Johnson

Kanye West - black suit, then white suit, then suit made from his own feelings about himself.

At 2:39 PM, Blogger dc nahm said...

Usher was amazing. He is an amazing man.

Loretta Lynn is insane. Very. She has Mr. White by his testes. J thinks they are doing it. Did I mention she is crazy.

Tim McGraw hates George Bush.

Slash's Tone was creamy. I laughed when Nora Jones started singing the chorus. Non-sense for the poor. I turned the TV of when Billie Joe Osmond started singing.

Jay-Z is cool.

Wilco won for best cd package. An egg wins.


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