Saturday, July 30, 2005

Mondo Absurdo

Allow me to be a complete fucking nerd...

"TPOS 020: "Mondo Absurdo: Celebrity Grossouts Vol. 1" by TELLY SAVALAS, SONNY BONO, LEONARD NIMOY, WINK MARTINDALE, WILLIAM SHATNER. 13 songs, 60 min. We don't know who told these guys they could sing, but they can't. What they do to songs like "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" is beyond belief." (from

Unca' Bill Widener (WRFL alum since day one in 1988) gave me around 50 cassettes last Spring and I've just now started to tear into them. Upon organizing the cases (stacked against the wall in my bedroom), a certain one stood out. The spine read: "WILLIAM SHATNER, LEONARD NIMOY, WINK MARTINDALE, TELLY SAVALAS...mondo absurdo". Of course, with the xeroxed, sloppily placed caps displaying the "dull-scrap" font, the style is tasty but I just never had the umph to pop it in. Mondo Absurdo is a "TV personalities performing music" compilation series. It seems the label put it out for punkers to sit around, chief up, pop in the player and laugh balls. Either that or these people genuinely find worth in this music. I doubt it.

Leaving for work, I grabbed some noiser jams: Burning Star Core-"THE VERY HEART OF THE WORLD" disc, Jason Schuler's "Migraine Sounds" cassette, Jessica Rylan/2673 split CD-r release as well as Jessica's "Wicked Witch" cassette and finally, A Certain Ratio mix tape. As much as these recordings get me going, I needed something more. Perhaps, a laugh.

Finally, after six months of holding onto these plastic peckers, I caved in and grabbed this Mondo Absurdo compilation of critters. So far, so pleased...


Sonny Bono-
"Laugh At Me"
"My Best Friend's Girl Is Out Of Sight"
"Pammie's On A Bummer"

Wink Martindale-
"Deck Of Cards"
"Melody Of Love"
"Steal Away"

Telly Savalas-
"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"
"Who Loves Ya Baby"

William Shatner-
"Sweet Shatner Suite"

Leonard Nimoy-
"Everybody's Talkin'"
"Let It Be Me"
"The Sun Will Shine"

cassette liner notes:

""Laugh At Me" presents Sonny as the Atonal Messiah. Dylan he ain't. This version is taken from Atco single 6369 which, unlike the version on the "best of Sonny and Cher" LP, is unedited, retaining the sounds of Sonny choking and running out of breath with complete sincerity. "My Best Friend's Girl Is Out Of Sight" and "Pammie's On A Bummer" were paired on Atco single 6531. The Sentiment of the former is entirely inappropriate for the mayor of Palm Springs. The spaghetti psychedelia of the latter is entirely appropriate."

Okay, I'm going to agree with the fact that "Pammie's On A Bummer" is a helluva jam. The other two tracks aren't THAT bad. I've heard worse music being hailed under the guise of so called current "free folk" revivalists. TOTALLY sounds like Dylan!

"These tracks are from the LP "Deck OF Cards" (Hamilton 128). The title cut was an actual hit in 1853 (sic). "Melody Of Love" has no melody. If moribund grannies flip, it is over Wink's thorazined delivery. "Steal Away" proves that Wink is white. Wink graduated to host a plethora of secular television game shows."

Creepy. The fact that Wink is white has no pull with the fact that this shit is creepy. It is just creepy.

""Telly" (MCA LP 436) gives us "If", rendered in the forgettable narrative style of William Shatner, and "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin", done in the more menacing Telly style. Our gratitude for the stategically placed and very loud background singers. The title track to MCA LP 2160 "Who Loves Ya Baby" demonstrates why disco is dead."

Wow. I sort of thought his version of that Righteous Brothers horseshit was smokin. Fuck the original anyway. Unless your Swayze in "Ghost".

"Connoisseurs of the absurd may have already heard of William Shatner's rendition of "Mr. Tambourine Man" on the Rhino LP "The Golden Throat". Here is the same song made more ridiculous by being presented in the context of the whole album side of Bill's all too mortal Decca LP "The Transformed Man". Pompous, manic, depraved, retarded."

Yeah, we've all been hip to this album for a minute. I was living in NICHOLASVILLE when I heard this tripper. Times have changed and I bet even new metal dorks have this on the deck at home inbetween bong hits and D&D sessions for a knee slap. Even still, I would take this over 75% of the current crop college radio bands.

"If Sonny Bono is the bleating sheep of pop music, then Leonard Nimoy is the wounded cow. Never has such a bizarre voice been put to songs like "Let It Be Me" and "Everybody's Talkin'". As a special bonus, we present "The Sun Will Rise", a Nimoy original that precurses his career as a Hallmark greeting card author. From the LP "The New World of Leonard Nimoy"(DOT 25966)."

DAMN! This is great stuff! I REALLY dig these songs. Yeah, same as Shatner, "been there, heard that" but I wasn't matured enough in my 'audial' diet to hang with this beef. His version of "Everybody' Talkin'" is total stoked stock. Nimoy was always cooler than Shatner on the show. I wouldn't agree that Leonard sounds like a wounded cow, more like he had a pet cow and that cow died so he made a little record in memory of his little friend.

While I was looking for a laugh, all I found in this compilation was a deep peek into the mind of five famous crazies. Enthralled. Within these "tunes" exist hallways of mystery, chaos, energy. Call me what you please but there is much more to grab onto inside these tracks than what's happening atop the surface of music these days. Anymore, kicking back to something a bit off satisfies the soul tons more. Think i'm gonna call up Burning Star Core, J. Rylan, J. Schuler and the members of A Certain Ratio and invite them all over for carrot sticks and Bobby Sherman...backwards. Won't you join us?

(photos are of...C. Spencer Yeh (Burning Star Core CD case), Jessica Rylan(w. mic in hand), A Certain Ratio (album cover), Mr. Savalas, Nimoy, Shatner, Bono the Sheriff and Wink's "Deck Of Cards" LP sleeve).

Thursday, July 28, 2005

That Dry Summer

I've just gotten hold of the new album by Oxford Collapse entitled "A Good Ground." STUPDNEDNDOUS!! What's it sound like? Maybe if The Feelies were backing up The Traveling Wilburys and then killed all the Traveling Wilburys except Tom Petty and made him only play drums. What would now be the "former" drummer of the Feelies would then issue orders to Tom Petty like this: "Choose two notes, hum them back and forth to the bass player and then order the bass player to hum what he thinks he heard to the guitar player. Then make the guitar player try to play what he thinks he heard, even though he's not particular adept at 'picking things up.' Oh, and tell the bass player to 'just listen.'" All this, you see, is what the "former" Feelies drummer would tell Petty to do, because who are you going to listen to, The Feelies "former" drummer or Tom Petty?

You get the idea.

"A Good Ground" is extremely invigorating for those who long for the best of what college rock had to offer when you were in college. An insular sound. A sound only you and your friends could understand. Because you don't have that much money, and sorry but some bands just can't afford a recording that isn't going to come out a little (golden) dry and washed out with wavering tempos, so we're just going to take that as a plus and mostly play fast. And after you listen to it a couple times you will never tire of appreciating its uniqueness, how there are no other three people on earth who could make this album but for these three people.

"Last American Virgin," should you want to test it out with one track, is where you should. Guitar that, when asked, says "I am in a band."

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Radio Show July 27th 2005

Great Show...I had a blast with this one!!!

"The Thieving Magpie"- artist unknown-Clockwork Orange Soundtrack
"Mercadonegro Llero"- Mercadonegro- Rough Guide To Salsa Dancing
"Space Child"-Spirit- Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus
"Potholderz"-MF Doom- mm..Food
"Speak Lord, In The Stillness-Lexington Baptist Choir- He Giveth More Grace
"Diplomatic Immunity"-Napalm Death-The Code Is
"Sugar Sugar"-Celia Cruz-Rough Guide To Celia Cruz
"A Step Before Hell"-Pablo Moses- Pave The Way
"Mysterium Iniquitatis"-Christian Death-Only Theatre of Pain
"The Rambling Sheep"-Liu Xing-Fading Village
"Catapaults"-Burning Star Core-The Very Heart of The World
(sample from Pat Robertson's early 1980's "Wake up America" TV special)
"Infected Voice"-Sepultura-Arise
"My Guy"-Claudine Longet- Claudine
"Breakfast Time"-Orange Juice- The Glasgow School
"I Wanna Be Free"-Femi Kuti- Live at Africa Shrine
"Budapest budapest"-Kampee Dolores- s/t
"Det Du Tanker Idag Ar du I Morgon"-Dungen-Ta Det Lugnt
"Greensleeves"-Dick Leibert- Leibert Takes Richmond
"Sandhya"-Amjad Ali kahn- Mohsha
"Dupree's Diamond blues-Grateful Dead-aoxamoxa
"upon Wings of Chaos"-Summon-Fallen
"Scissor Tailed Swallow"- Wailing Wall-s/t
"No Action"-Elvis Costello-This Year's Model
"Fluer De lie"-Slow Dazzle-The View From The Floor
untitled-Comets On Fire/burning Star Core-s/t
"Summer Of Love"-Current 93-Swastikas For Noddy
"Dios Mos"-Aziza Brahim- Rough Guide To the Sahara
"and a 1,2,3"-jim O'Rourke- I'm happy...
"youth man"-The Observer and King Tubby-Trojan Dub Massive vol. one
"Aanadam"-Debashish Bhattacharya-3
"Flowers Of Joy"-Jean Ritchie-None But One
live track at Mecca 2004-Bardo Pond
"Suicidal Ways"-Midnight-Into The Night
Cybergod (Nausea cover)-Brutal Truth-Goodbye Cruel World
"Satan's Witch"- Rusted Shut-Rehab
"Ghosts of The Midnight Mist"-Abazagorath-Tenebrarum Cadent Exsurgemus
"Invert The Virgin"-Goatwhore-"The Eclipse of Ages
"Streamlined"-Obsessed-The Church Within
"The Sun Has Turned To Black"-Electric Wizard-We Live
"Planet Caravan"-Anomoanon-Everythign Comes and Goes v/a
"Carnisaur Vs. Unicorn"-Friends Forever-Killball
"Goin' up the Country"-Canned Heat-Collage
"Dirty Work"-Steely Dan-Can't Buy a Thrill

I have this mix available on cassette if anyone wants one. It cuts in the middle of Slow Dazzle (I know, weird) but hell, it was a good show and I would love to share it with whomever wants it. Fuck cd-rs tho, get a cassette player. It's the only way to listen to a mix!!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

What happens when you read "Return to the City of White Donkeys" while terror is in your face:

For James Potato

"The time," the station speaker
was saying overhead, “is 6:18pm."
I opened the "Weekender" section to
check out movietimes. The guy
next to me on the platform,
covered in tiny checks and an
ID hanging around his neck on a chain,
was looking at movietimes too.
"Hey,” he said, motioning to his movietimes
and cocking an eyebrow. “Mine
are better, you should take a look
at these movietimes," though we were
holding the exact same copy.
"How about we just trade," I said,
and snatched his copy from his hands
before he could agree. "You just fucked
yourself OVER" hissed through his teeth
as he snatched my copy of the Weekender,
just as I had done his.
"Wait,” I said. “Which copy did
you mean to take, mine or the one
I just took from you? Because I think
you just took my movietimes, which is strange,
since I thought you said your copy
is better?" Just then the kora player
began, plucking the instrument's
strings with both thumbs like weaving
two identical tiny quilts with the
joysticks of an arcade driving game,
using your thumbs to fire missiles and
clearing the cars from in front of you.
The man with my movietimes moved to give
the kora player some change.
"We can trade back, for real this time,"
I said to stop him. "I'll give you back your Weekender
movietimes if you promise to agree
that mine are as good as yours."
Silently agreeing, we slowly moved
the paper toward each other in a face-off,
my right hand moving toward his ribs and
his toward mine. Just before the moment of
hand-off we both froze, unconscious
as a Ouija board. He was looking at
me and spoke more steadily than before:
"I want to remember this moment." I said,
"The time is 6:20pm," and shrieking bells
tore through the tunnel.

Highly Recommend... (home of Stephen O'Malley, head of SunnO)), Lotus Eaters and Khanate. A beautiful website...) (website home to Eyes and Arms of Smoke. Our friend John Fail runs the label and lives in Lexington) (lair of my buddy, Miss Irene Moon, lecturer and founder of Auk Theater) (I've reviewed some records on there as well as written some show bulletins for the Lexington area) is the tape label/distro ran by trevor tremaine. he is my friend.w hat a buddy...

the dude with the goat is Steve O'Malley
The woman is Irene Moon
The crew by the Niagra are Eyes and Arms Of Smoke
Dude with cookie falling out of his mouth is Tremaine from Rampart!

o, yeah...go to to read an article about our Lexignton buddies....

Friday, July 22, 2005

Pith and Circumstance

Sorry. I noticed the questionaire a few entries back and had to jump in...
Look, I'm at work and I got nothing to do but answer questionaires for my bud-dies so just deal with it.
p.s. I just looked up pithy and I'm still a little rattled by the "depth" of said activity. Like GROSS!!!

Total number of books I've owned: I once owned many, many books. Hmm, I used to have like 100 or something but after elementary school, I got hip.

The last book I bought: A shitty George Harrison biography. I'm a fucktard, it was garbage and it cost over $25.

The last book I read: "Four Plays"- Gunter Grass. I laughed a bunch but I have no idea why. It beats the hold hell out of the bullshit Chuck Palahniuk dogass i've been trying to read today. D.O.R.K.

Five books that mean a lot to me (in no particular order): Chronicles vol. one-Zimmerman, The Stranger- Camus, Necronomicon, Choosing Death, Bridge To Terribithia. I'm sure there are more important ones but I'm a fucktard (see above).

Total number of films I own on DVD and video: Zero!

Last film I bought: Never have doled out any cash for a flick. I've only rented or borrowed, scout's honor. Well, the girlfriend bought me "Napoleon Dynamite" for Christmas butI sold it to buy some lunch a month ago.

Last film I watched: That new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory flick. Hmm, not totally bummed but it wasn't nearly as creepy as the orginal. I also watched some crazy underground world music vids last week that consisted of a dude drinking blood from a decapitated goat head. I'm gonna buy that one cause it was REAL.

Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order): I don't watch movies over and over cause that is a waste of time but looking back through the past few years I remembered enjoying (in no order): In The Bedroom, The Shining, Muppets Take Manhattan, some Herzog flicks (too stoned at the time to take note of what they were called), Texas Chainsaw One, any obscure porn made before 1990, skate vids pre mid-nineties. O, I went over, sorry...

Total volume of music on my computer: How long is my dong? What? O, Around 100 albums worth. Stupid...

Last CD I bought: It was a record but Christian Death's first jammer...siiick!!! Looks all goth but you put it on and it's total skate punk madness. Circa 1982, get it together folks and go buy it!

Song currently playing: Arbouretum-"Don't let It Show". Now I have no idea what it was written about but I take it as a heartbreak tune. It is a killer and always brings a tear to my eye. What? You wanna argue that?!?!

Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me: There are a lot so this is hard but i'm grabbing what comes up first- Devo-"Gut feeling". Opening chords are INTENSE! Bad Brains- "Sail On". Total grossness. It doesn't get sicker than that. Sonic Youth-"Schizophrenia". No comment. Black Flag-"Depression". It saved my life. Grateful Dead-"High Time". Beautiful.


Back on the motherfucking saddle. Sheesh, it took me six months to find my password for this thing. Maybe I should announce it on here so that I won't look stupid the next time around. Then again, perhaps sharing that information would be stupid, or would it???

So...see the photo on the right? Well, that's how I feel when I wake up in the morning or see hot Kentucky girls play in the fountain down at Triangle Park.

The photo on the left? Hmmm, that is happening right now where I am working. Front desk guy at an art gallery here in Lexington. They do that Contra Dance bullshit every Friday night. Horseshit, complete horseshit. Drives me crazy...

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Tehrandome

Here is one of the great photo essays I've ever seen. Via NY Times. Tehran's sinister style seems movie-made. And it's only going to get worse.