Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Poor Clint

Google your name and needs, e.g., "[your name] needs" and list the top 10 responses.

1. Clint needs immediate education about the pitfalls of inadequate political skills in school as well as in life.

2. Clint needs to learn the value of commitment.

3. Clint needs fresh young girls to keep his sexual drive alive, and Lisa, sweet, innocent and willing to offer them "a lift" in her car, can lure them.

4. Clint needs a pace-maker.

5. Clint needs to get the PO approved.

6. Clint needs help understanding that while success with his peers is beneficial, he also must be aware of the importance of having positive relationships with the adults in his life.

7. Clint needs to be a "thick" guy, shoulders, swagger.

8. Clint needs to perform a microphone check at least 15 - 20 minutes prior to his program.

9. Clint needs an operation.

10. Clint needs new coaches in just about everything.

11. Clint needs room to run and play.

12. Poor Clint needs to know when to say when and quit on a good note.


At 6:52 AM, Blogger Violet Beauregarde said...

Eleanor needs to calm the hell down, Eleanor needs to contact her therapist, Eleanor needs a savior and protector and only Alexander will do, Eleanor needs a weapon capable of defeating the demon, Eleanor needs to start playing the guitar again or another instrument, Eleanor needs volunteers for research, Eleanor needs must die, Eleanor needs to shave her forehead to prevent a uni-brow, Eleanor needs a bit of sweetness to counteract her, Eleanor needs proof before she will get carried away.

At 11:20 PM, Blogger pauldeppler said...

There is a welsh musician and song writer named "Paul Needs" which has fowled up my results.

At 10:29 AM, Blogger stark pimp said...

Some excellent results nonetheless.

Veteran rocker Paul Needs is fuming because smokers are being increasingly regarded as social pariahs.

At 11:26 AM, Blogger pauldeppler said...

Alright you've got me: I am paul needs.

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Violet Beauregarde said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Violet Beauregarde said...

And clearly stated is that:
Paul needs some advice on what to do with his front door. But don't we all?

At 3:40 PM, Blogger dc nahm said...

David needs to be more tolerant of others, especially emotions.

David needs a wash.

David is in serious need of a bath.

What David needs most is support from a stable and harmonious family.

David needs to roar with pride.

But David needs to work independently.

David needs prayers.

At 3:46 PM, Blogger dc nahm said...

Audubon Park needs ways to generate more money.

At 3:47 PM, Blogger dc nahm said...

If you do one for "Nation Sack" needs, you get this post.

At 11:41 PM, Blogger Don't Blame Me--You Voted for Bush said...

1. Matt needs Spaz.
2. Matt needs tasks.
3. Matt needs tasks. (And why does he need them twice? Because the third hit for "matt needs" is someone else who did this same experiment. As a tribute to the closed feedback cycle of information in the popular media, I will now consider the statement "Matt needs tasks" to be independently verified.)
4. Matt needs to not play every little blog meme that comes along. (Also from the aforementioned Matt from #3. I dig the combination of the term "meme" with the split infinitive.)
5. Matt needs new liver, please help. (My self-satisfaction at snide grammatical comments suddenly fading...)
6. Matt needs help. (Goddamnit, and now this one is about an infant born with a serious and rare disease.)
7. Matt needs a fine instrument. (Back in business and I regret nothing.)
8. Matt needs to practice his trumpet for 20 minutes.
9. [When] Matt needs to let off steam he plays his drum. (The last three have been for different dudes. We will form a band.)
10. Matt needs someone to bend him over and give him 20 paddles in his shorts. (This guy will drive our van. Wait, in his shorts?)
11. Matt needs to contact Dan to remind about contacting delinquent members. (Yes I went to 11, and I skipped a bunch of repeats of other people doing this exercise and getting results already posted. But our band is going to need a manager and at the end of the night, it had better be a cat who ain't afraid to contact Dan to remind about contacting delinquent members when it comes to getting the fucking money!)

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At 12:38 AM, Blogger Mr. T said...

Clint sucks

At 12:38 AM, Blogger Mr. T said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:20 AM, Blogger clint said...

Mr T you dont even know me Bone Head


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